You can’t please everyone. But that doesn’t stop some folks from trying.
Who hasn’t forged an enemy or two?
But a better man does what he can to live without true enemies. True enemies seek revenge to no end. They make our world a lesser place.
So a better man stops them from ever taking root.
Opposing views create enemies. So a better man yearns for common ground.
He lays out his arguments backed by facts and asks for the same in return. He then digs deep with an open mind. And this improves him in one of two ways…
It sensibly strengthens his resolve, or it changes his views.
In the words of John Maynard Keynes… “When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do, sir?”
This approach leads to a better outcome. The balance isn’t always perfect, but it sets the stage for further discussion. And a potential enemy is stopped dead in his tracks.
Now, you can’t win over everyone with logic and compromise. Some folks will simply despise you no matter the outcome. So today I’ll show you a powerful tool to deal with those detractors
Benjamin Franklin Effect Psychology
The Ben Franklin Effect can turn foes into friends. It’s an overlooked but influential approach.
All you must do is ask for a favor and show strong gratitude in return. That’s it.
In Ben Franklin’s case, he asked to borrow a book from a rival legislator from Pennsylvania. After about a week, Franklin returned it with a note showing gratitude. And the next time they met in the House, they spoke for the first time with great rapport. It was the start of a long friendship.
It’s a simple act, yet a powerful psychological trick that modern science has validated. Receiving a favor from a foe creates cognitive dissonance.
Your foes think negatively of you, although the favor they do for you is a positive act.
It’s unnatural for humans to like and dislike someone at the same time. Your mind is pulling in two directions. You want balance. So a favor from a foe pushes our enemies to like us a little more. And this opens the door for more favors.
Asking for a sincere favor is a simple step that turns enemies into friends.
The Ben Franklin Effect is just one of many overlooked psychology tools. Mastering these tricks will improve your relationships. They’ll help you excel in life.